I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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