This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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