I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
