My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Randomize
