I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
