lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
