no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!