you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
