We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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