I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Four minutes until I can fart!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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