Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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