Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
