So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
