I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize