Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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