I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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