I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
