ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize