yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
