why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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