I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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