So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
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Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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