I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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