I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
