carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
