Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize