that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
