Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize