Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
