please come you make the beer taste better
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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