I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
