I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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