So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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