): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
