Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
