god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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