I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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