We're facebook friends in real life
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it hurts more in the daytime
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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