it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
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This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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