I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
