Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
