Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
