I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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