I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
