FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
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i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
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literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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