Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
