6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
