Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
