So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
