the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
