My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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