His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I will pee on everything he values.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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