accomplished twins. life is a go
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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