I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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