the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
