thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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