Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
