whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
