i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize