Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
