the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
