bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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