her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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