I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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